Slow the heck down!
MY 48 HOUR LIFE LESSON!
This weekend I had a 48 hour period that has honestly caused me to stop dead in my tracks and scare the pants off me. I share this because I know that I am not the only mum going through this. So here is an insight and I will take it from there…
- 8:00pm Friday – go to bed after jam packing a million activities in for the kids for school holidays to keep them entertained and because they “missed out” on so much during lockdown.
- 2am – wake up with a million thoughts about what is coming up, what I need to do, what the kids need before going back to school.
- 4am - mind still racing, so decide to accept defeat and get out of bed. Make myself a bowl of cereal and watch My Senior Year with Rebel Wilson. Shocked at Rebel’s weight loss, spend the next 30 minutes googling “how did Rebel Wilson lose the weight”. Back to bed at 4:30am
- 6:00am – kids wake up, day starts. Remember we have friends coming for dinner so start attempting to clean the house while kids eat breakfast because the kids have back to back parties from 10am – 3pm and friends are coming at 5pm.
- 8:30am – remember that I don’t have a present for either party.
- 9:00am – arrive at Kmart to get presents with enough time to get home, wrap presents and be at the first party by 10am.
- 9:01am – drop 2 x Nurofen because I have a headache I can’t shake and the Panadol I took at 6am is doing nothing.
- 9:05am – despite having no time – decide to multi task and return some pants that I bought Mark that were too big so head to the returns counter.
- 9:07am – interrupt a cute old lady that was being served in front of me that was asking the service attendant to help her put photos in frames that she bought, because she couldn’t do it with her fingers. Rudely interrupted and expressed that I was in a hurry so I would come back. Walk away shuddering as I adore old people and try to honour and help them wherever I can. Do a double shudder as I was a service assistant at Coles for 7 years and realised I had just been a total a-hole but I “was in a rush!”
- 9:30am – Both presents are finally purchased, pants exchanged (while I hung my head in shame) and Billy and I are running to the car to get back in time to wrap present and get to the 10am party.
- 10am – 3:00pm – Smash out 2 x separate kids parties, drink several coffees, chat and meet lots of new mums and at one stage pretend I am going to the toilet so I can update a Mums Who Wine Event and do a quick social media post as I didn’t want to be “rude” and be on my phone, but it “had to” be done at 1pm.
- 3pm – arrive home. Mark tells me to go lay down(bless him) and rest as we have friends coming and he will clean the house. Lay down for 5 minutes until I realise I haven’t done any social media stories that day on the competition I am running. Sit up, smooth my hair and post some stories.
- 3:15pm – realise I won’t sleep so instead get up and clean as Mark shakes his head. Drop another 2 x Panadol.
- 5pm – Friends arrive, have a great dinner, drink copious glasses of wine because my headache has finally gone.
- 11pm – 12:30am – Friends have gone, but I decide I need “me time” so watch the end of Senior Year that I didn’t finish from the other night with my eyes hanging out of my head.
- 5:40am – wake up and start googling “Covid Victoria Lockdowns” wondering and silently hoping that there may be a chance that we go back into lockdown again so I have an excuse to rest and stay at home.
- 5:41am - Realise what I am doing and DROP THE PHONE!!!
I wish I was exaggerating, honestly. I was so exhausted from the busyness of the past 48 hours that I was silently hoping for another lockdown would be coming so I had an excuse to say no and rest. WTAF?!!!!
To put this into perspective – the reason why I dropped my phone so quickly was that the last two years of heavy Melbourne lockdowns, broke me. Like I mean seriously broke me. I am talking late night Uber Eats orders to eat my feelings, staying up until all hours watching crappy TV because “what else is there to do?”, crying most days in the shower so the kids didn’t see and completely losing myself and who I was.
So why the heck was I sitting here this morning, googling Melbourne lockdowns and hoping for some reprieve?
The answer - because I, like many of us, have gone from 0 – 100 over the past few months and I am honestly struggling to catch my breath.
Whether it is catching up on the moments we lost, trying to convince myself I can operate at the same pace I did pre global pandemic (*spoiler alert – I TOTALLY can’t*) or the mum guilt that hits me every day of what the kids have “missed”, so I fill it with activities and play dates so their cup is full, while mine is empty.
I know that I am not the only one feeling this. Not the only person that responds to every “how are you?” with a “Good – just really busy!”.
And honestly – I am not doing it anymore and I know something needs to change and being ordered to stay in my house by the Government is NOT the answer.
So from today I am starting a journey of slowing down. Not just a token self care journey – but an intentional slowing the heck down journey. I don’t know exactly how it looks but I know it involves - slowing down, getting better sleep, turning the tv off, feeding my soul and discovering what life is like in the slow lane (not the right hand lane driving over the speed limit where you would normally find me).
This is new, this is different, but it is exciting and I want you all to be a part of the journey as my tribe and community with the hope that this inspires you to do the same.
Watch this space mummas and if you would like to take part in this journey of slowing down with me – reach out as I would love to do this together.