It was November 2017, I had just worked a 14-hour day, I had not seen my two boys and I came home stressed, exhausted with my cup absolutely depleted. I kissed hubby hello and then immediately grabbed the computer to start doing work on Mums Who Wine. As I picked up the computer, my husband said something to me (I still don’t remember to this day) and I immediately snapped shouting “do you have any idea how much pressure I am under?!!!” It was at that point that he sat me down and said two words that changed my life. Very calmly, yet very profoundly he said “Just Quit”.
I looked at him with utter shock and admittedly a little distain. My response “I can’t quit! I am a lawyer, this is my job! And I am the main breadwinner.” Again, very calmly he repeated those two words “Just Quit”. This time with a little less distain, but still a lot of shock I stated “I can’t quit, we want to buy a house and we need my salary to qualify.” Calmly he responded “We will work it out, just quit.”
My attitude was starting to shift but I still wasn’t quite there yet so I responded “But what would I say, I don’t have another “job” to go?” Instantly I heard a voice in my head say “You know that is your pride”. Moments later Mark said “you know that is your pride?” (Ok I get it!) He then said “Just go in there and tell them that you have started a business that you are passionate about, that it is changing lives and for that reason your passion has shifted from law”.
Wow, this is seriously a moment I will never forget. Not only because I truly witnessed the belief that my husband has in me and Mums Who Wine, but this was a moment in which for the first time in my life I gave myself permission to pursue something other than money. I sat there in disbelief as the weight of the world lifted off my shoulders and repeated over and over “I could quit?!”. In 16 years I had never allowed myself permission to entertain that thought. I was a lawyer, that was my identity, for so long I had been driven by the desire for status, success and money. How could I just go in and turn my back on all of that? Turns out, pretty easily! So the next day, I went in…and quit!
I sit here now 8 months on and reflect. Was it hard saying goodbye to my “career” and the highly desired six figure salary? Surprisingly no! The decision was not hard, yet admittedly the road has not been easy trying to navigate our lives without my wage that we had always relied on. This does cause stress, we are only human. Just like yesterday when I returned to my car to find a parking fine and cried in the street! However, despite financial pressure and stress, I am thankful that I have never once questioned my decision to quit and I definitely have never felt that from Mark.
In those times of stress, I remind myself of the joy in the faces of the mums who attend our events. I reflect on the conversations with mums that have shared vulnerably about how they were previously isolated and fighting post-natal depression in silence, but Mums Who Wine changed that. I remember that each day I wake up with passion in my belly and excitement in my heart about what is still to come and recognise that is worth more than any fat pay check.
“Just Quit” – two words I never thought I would hear, yet two words that have forever changed my life.